These past seven months must have done something strange to me because today I thought I'd be frantically cleaning house, running errands and sprucing myself up to see my husband for the first time since last summer. Instead, I almost passed out in the Commissary this morning before going home, breaking down in tears and going to bed for the day. This would not be the first time I've come down with a bug before Colin has returned from a trip, I'm pretty sure stress and nerves are mostly to blame for this (so says my wise mother) but I spent much of the day upset as I could not sleep thinking about the mess my house was and that I would not be able to get a run in today. I get funny when I get stressed, often exercise is the first thing to drive my mind insane. Probably because it is the one thing that usually calms my mind in stressful situations.
Nonetheless I spent much of the day in bed hoping by some miracle I'd be better by tomorrow night. I was able to bake the cake I planned for Colin but my house has most certainly seen better days. At this point I figure a) the house certainly wasn't any cleaner when Colin left. b) Colin's a boy, boys don't notice a dirty trash can or unswept kitchen floor and c) Colin hasn't seen me in over seven months, I doubt he'll freak over my latest project (I made a necklace to wear to the airport tomorrow night) covering the kitchen table than his wife. At least I hope not. :)
I found out Colin was coming home less than two weeks ago. Normally we find these things out at least a month in advance so I've been a little uneasy trying to transition myself from the girl who eats cereal for dinner, goes to gym classes as a social outlet and talks to her dog as if she were a real person (although Cheddar certainly thinks she is) to the girl who married just over a year ago and has to start acting like a real wife again. Even though this is not our first deployment as a couple, it's our first as a married couple. The last time Colin came home, it was a week before our wedding and he was pretty much dumped into the pre-wedding/Christmas chaos of the Barker household (poor guy). So this will certainly be a little different but I know one thing, it won't be the last time.
Hopefully tomorrow will go by without any more breakdowns, fainting or worries. I figure I've shed enough tears over this long deployment to waste any more over silly things. Like a dusty bookshelf. I hope.
Also before I sign off, I checked my mile log (see right hand column) and it looks like I've just about made 250 miles since Colin left last summer. Since I didn't know when he was coming home I never set a goal but I can say I never thought I'd run that many. Maybe I'll keep that counter going to see how many I can run in a year?